When to tell and when to ask

Few coaching topics generate as much discussion as the balance between telling and asking. For some, telling is seen as old-fashioned, overly directive or incompatible with modern coaching. For others, asking questions is viewed as too slow, too indirect or simply unrealistic for the fast-paced demands of training.

But this framing misses the essential point. The real skill of an effective coach is not choosing one approach over the other. It is knowing when to tell and when to ask, and how to use both in ways that support player learning.

In the video example below, FIFA Technical Expert Trevor Morgan demonstrates how a coach can vary intervention types and communication styles throughout a single session focused on attacking quickly after regaining possession. Notice how his approach moves from clear instruction to guided questioning, and finally toward player-led reflection.

The Benefits of Telling and Asking

What “telling” offers
Telling is direct, clear and efficient. It provides players with essential information at moments when they need it most. Used effectively, telling can:

provide explicit cues and instructions (e.g., rules, structure, positioning);
reduce uncertainty;
accelerate transitions between session phases; and
highlight expert insights players may not yet see for themselves.

Telling is appropriate especially when players lack prior knowledge, when time is limited, or when organisation and safety require clarity.

What “asking” offers
Asking questions draws players into the learning process. It prompts them to think, reflect and make sense of the game. Used effectively, asking can:

deepen game understanding by linking decisions to principles;
develop metacognitive skills — players learn how to think about their thinking;
build ownership, motivation and confidence; and
help coaches access what players perceive, rather than relying on assumptions.

Asking is particularly powerful during reflection moments, in tactical problem-solving or when players are ready to take more responsibility.

All competencies in this series link to one of five domains. ‘When to Tell and When to Ask’ sits within the domain of Player Activation and Engagement.

So, When Should Coaches Tell? And When Should They Ask?

There is no universal rule, but there is a simple guiding principle:

Tell when players need clarity; ask when they need a challenge.

At the start of learning, clarity reduces uncertainty and helps players orient themselves. As they progress, well-timed questions push them to think, adapt and apply their knowledge independently, supporting deeper learning and better application during the game.

Context also matters. In fast, chaotic moments, telling can stabilise performance by giving players something concrete to anchor to. In calmer, more reflective moments, asking can deepen understanding by encouraging them to process information and make connections.

This is why coaching must be understood as episodic. A session flows through different learning episodes — organisation, exploration, application, transfer, reflection — and each episode places unique demands on players. As the demands shift, effective coaches shift their communication accordingly.

Session breakdown: Five phases

Trevor Morgan’s session example demonstrates how powerful this adaptive approach can be in practice. His session features five distinct phases. Each phase reflects a different coaching goal and an appropriate communication style.

Phase 1: Walk-through – Setting expectations

The session begins with a walk-through in which Morgan demonstrates how the defending team should shift as the ball moves and what he expects immediately after regaining possession: quick, vertical play. His communication is clear, concise and direct. At this stage, he is setting expectations, establishing reference points and creating a shared tactical picture for every player.

Phase 2: Guided play – Explicit feedback and corrections

The practice then moves into live attacks. Morgan observes the action and allows players to explore the task, intervening only between attacks. His communication remains explicit and purposeful. He recreates the key moments, corrects decisions where necessary, and reinforces the intended behaviours.

Phase 3: Scenario-based walk-through – Checking understanding

Morgan shifts back to a walk-through, but now the communication changes. Instead of telling, he uses short, guided questions to check understanding and encourage player input. Players complete tactical prompts, identify solutions and physically demonstrate their choices. This marks a subtle transfer of cognitive responsibility from coach to players.

Phase 4: Free Play – Observation and reinforcement

In the final play phase, Morgan steps back even further. He coaches “in the flow,” offering light-touch reminders and positive reinforcement while allowing the game to run. Players now apply the plan with minimal direction, showing their understanding through their actions — the ultimate test of learning.

Phase 5: Debrief – Player reflection

The session closes with a structured debrief. Morgan uses open, role-specific questions to help players reflect. His tone is facilitative and individualised. This reflective dialogue not only consolidates learning but also gives the coach valuable insight into what players have perceived, understood and internalised.

The communication shifts across the session are intentional:

Tell to establish clarity.
Guide to support exploration.
Ask to confirm understanding.
Reinforce to consolidate learning.
Reflect to assess.

This is not random variation — it mirrors how players learn: from supported execution towards autonomous decision-making.

Key take-aways

The debate between telling and asking is a false one — both are essential.
Effective coaching depends on selecting the right style for the right moment.
Telling provides clarity; asking builds understanding and ownership.
Sessions evolve through episodes; communication should evolve with them.